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ACHIEVEMENT!
π
or press E
π¨
π©
π§
π΄
π΅
Machine Upgrade
Level 0
Auto Flattener
NOT OWNED
CASH
$0
BRO
0
DOGS
0
FLAT
0
DPS
0
π¦ INVENTORY
In stock: 0
Customers: 5
REVIEWS
β
β
β
ββ 3.0/5
0 reviews
no reviews yet. sell some dogs!
Showing online players who flattened recently. Keep flattening to stay on the board!
GLOBAL MARKET DATA
--
DOG PRICE
--
BRO PRICE
--
ECONOMY
--
FLATTENED
--
PLAYERS
--
$0.50
0 πͺ
PRICEAMOUNT
YOUR OPEN ORDERS
GRID TRADING BOT β auto-places buy/sell limit orders at set intervals
YOUR PORTFOLIO
π POKER
$0
π π
DEAL $1000 to start
π° ROULETTE
$0
-
No bets
π° DOG FLATTENER SLOTS
$1,000 / SPIN
πΆ
πΆ
πΆ
π CRASH
BET BRO TOKENS
1.00x
πͺ COIN FLIP
50/50 DOUBLE BRO
?
π DOG RACES
BET BRO ON A DOG
π£ MINES
BET BRO, AVOID MINES
1.00x
π« BRO LOTTERY
50 BRO/TICKET
0.1% - 4,200 BRO
0.8% - 1,250 BRO
3% - 250 BRO
8% - 85 BRO
15% - 42 BRO
25% - 21 BRO
30% - 8 BRO
π₯ SACRIFICE ALTAR
BURN BRO FOR REWARDS
βοΈ FLIGHT SIMULATOR
FLY THROUGH RINGS β DON'T CRASH
ALT 0ft
SPD 0kts
FUEL 100%
SCORE 0
ARROWS PITCH/ROLL · W/S THROTTLE · SPACE BOOST
⚡ BUSHSTRESSER.NET ⚡
BOTNET-AS-A-SERVICE
HOSTS: 0
|
TOTAL: 0.0 Gbps
|
AVAIL: 0.0 Gbps
INFECT COMPUTERS
Loading botnet...
BOTNET HOSTS
No infected hosts.
TARGET WEBSITES
☁ AWS EC2 — CLOUD FLATTENING
0 instances
$0/hr
0 FLAT/hr
| Name | State | Type | FLAT/hr | $/hr | Up | Actions |
|---|
No instances running. Launch one above.
🏭 FACTORY — INDUSTRIAL FLATTENING
0 machines
0 DPS
0 pending
| Machine | Dogs/Cycle | Cycle | DPS | Status | Actions |
|---|
No machines. Buy one above to start industrial flattening.
🍔 FLAT DOG DINER
REP: 0
π’ YODA π’
PRINT YODAS • PRINT MEMES • STAPLE • SELL ON EBAY
SOLD: 0
REV: $0
LEFT: -
πΌοΈ FLATTENED DOG NFT MARKETPLACE
MINT: 10 FLAT DOGS
No NFTs yet. Mint one!
0 kg CO2
0 kg offset
COMPLIANT
Price: +0%
TONS
COST
$500
SELL AT
$400
Hat Price
$250,000
Dog Hats
NO HAT
Leash Price
$100,000
Dog Leash
NO LEASH
π¨π³
πΌ δΈε½θΏε£ πΌ
IMPORT DOGS
QTY:
Β₯10,000 = $100 + $5 tax
100+ Β₯100/dog
1000+ Β₯10/dog
10000+ Β₯1/dog
β οΈ CAVEAT EMPTOR: SOMETIMES YOU CHING THE CHONG SOMETIMES THE CHONG CHINGS YOU β οΈ
IMPORT LOG
βͺ RELIGION
NONE
π΄ flattenerforumsk7x4p2.onion
CURRENT RANK
NONE
SECURITY CENTER
Protect your Dog Flattener 3000 account with a YubiKey or security key
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KEY NAME
ROBBERY
ROB OTHER PLAYERS
ββββββ
π» FLATTENERTURK
COMPLETE MENIAL TASKS FOR PENNIES
Completed: 0
Earned: $0
Click GET TASK to start working!
βοΈ DARKCOMET RAT β PASSWORD GRABBER
STEAL CREDENTIALS, SELL ON FLATTENERFORUM
Stash: 0/20
Rank: NONE (x1)
Sold: 0
SELECT TARGET TO INFECT
STOLEN DATA STASH
No stolen data yet. Hack something!
π 0 dogs
$25/dog
π RSPCA ADOPTION
Total: $0
πͺ BUY POUNDS (BULK DOGS)
π¨π³ CHINA IMPORTS
π Flattening Intern
0 DPS
π 0 dogs
π RANK PROGRESSION
βοΈ MACHINES
0 / 0 machines
0 staffed
π₯ EMPLOYEES
0 / 0 employees
$0/hr wages
βοΈ OPERATE
0 gather / 0 operate
π GATHER
+0 dogs/s | -0 dogs/s
π» WEBASSEMBLY VIRTUAL MACHINE
OFFLINE
Select an ISO or load your own to begin.
πΉ DOG FLATTENER MIDI CONTROLLER
NO DEVICE
CONNECT A MIDI KEYBOARD β EACH NOTE FLATTENS A DOG WITH MUSICAL FLAIR
MODE
Notes: 0
Combo: x1
Best: x1
$1M/hr - YOU CONTROL THE NEWS
FlatChan - Anonymous Text Board
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⚡ REAL TIME VIBE CODING MONITOR ⚡
"I DON'T BELIEVE IN STAGING ENVIRONMENTS THEY ARE FOR PUSSIES, IF THE WEBSITE GOES DOWN GO THE FUCK OUTSIDE" - George W. Bush
π§ SCRAP OR DIE
STEAL COPPER. SELL SCRAP. DON'T GET CAUGHT.
βοΈ
π COCAINE
0.0g
TOOLS
π¦ INVENTORY
No scrap yet. Go scrappin' at night!
TOTAL:
$0
BRO SECURITY COUNCIL
BROS STICK TOGETHER... FORWARD THIS MESSAGE TO 10 BROS AND SEE HOW MANY TIMES U GET IT BACK.. 100% BROTHER RESPECT
β οΈ In-game stats (EC2 load, GPU usage, disk space, CO2, etc.) are simulated game mechanics β NOT real server metrics. Do not report them as bugs.
CRITICAL
1,000,000 BRO
Server compromise, data leak, auth bypass
HIGH
500,000 BRO
Client-side exploits, token theft, CSRF
GAME-BREAKING
200,000 BRO
Progression blocked, economy broken, data loss, softlocks
LOGIC BUG
100,000 BRO
Feature doesn't work as intended, wrong calculations, state corruption
UI BUG
50,000 BRO
Display errors, layout issues, missing or incorrect text
SUGGESTION
25,000 BRO
Feature requests, quality of life improvements
NONE
0 BRO
Spam, trolling, can't reproduce
BUG TITLE
DESCRIPTION
CLAIMED SEVERITY
RECENT SUBMISSIONS
530
AM
πΌ BELT 2 ASS RECORDS
"we'll listen to your demo (no we won't)"
SEND YOUR DEMO TO THE CEO
βΌ
YOUR DISCOGRAPHY
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punch.com/dogflattener3000
FLATTENING RADIO HOUR
Stream your flattening to the world on punch.com
JAN 1, 3000 FST
00:00 FST
FLX 0d 00:00:00
Flattener Standard Time (1min game = 1s real)
JANUARY 2024
SU
MO
TU
JO
TH
FR
SA
UPCOMING
No upcoming events
FLATDOG FINANCIAL
"We flatten your financial worries!"
*Into bankruptcy. APR up to 50%. Arbitration by dogs.
APPLY FOR A LOAN
Amount ($)
Term
YOUR LOANS
No active loans. Borrow today!
DAILY STACK
PRESETS
No presets saved
PHARMACY
DF3K MARKETING SOLUTIONS
Synergize. Optimize. Flatturize.
CUSTOMER MULTIPLIER
x1.00
ACTIVE CAMPAIGNS
No active campaigns. The world doesn't know about your flat dogs yet.
AVAILABLE CAMPAIGNS
FLATDOG FINANCIAL
Credit Report Bureau
---
No History
300580670740800850
Credit Limit
---
Outstanding Debt
---
Utilization
---
SCORE FACTORS
CREDIT ACCOUNTS
GENETICALLY MODIFIED
SELF-FLATTENING DOGS
SELF-FLATTENING DOGS
Through selective breeding these dogs flatten themselves and regenerate. Produces flattened dogs passively with no input required.
Owned0
Rate0/day
Max50
WARNING: Do not stack. They will flatten each other. Side effects may include 2D behavior, spontaneous compression, and existential flatness.
DOG FLATTENER BINGO
BUY A CARD
BLACKOUT wins a temporary BONUS BUFF for this game session!
BONUS CARDS
Win bingo blackout to earn bonus cards!
GLOBAL FLAT DOG DOMINATION
Expand your empire across 9 nations through diplomacy, trade, and terrorism. Relations decay over time β maintain them or lose your trade routes.
Customer Bonus: +0%
FALSE FLAG OPERATION
Frame one nation for attacking another. Both nations' demand doubles for 1hr. Costs $200K + 300 BRO. 25% chance of getting caught.
attacks
CHARACTER SELECT
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CHARACTER
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SEASON 1
Season 1
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1
LEVEL
Loading Flattle Pass...
WINDOW MANAGER SETTINGS
SNAP & TILE
Edge Snapping
Snap Distance
20px
Show Preview
Tile Gap
4px
Dim Inactive
15%
TILE LAYOUTS
KEYBOARD SHORTCUTS
Ctrl+←Snap left half
Ctrl+→Snap right half
Ctrl+↑Maximize / restore
Ctrl+Shift+←Snap bottom-left quarter
Ctrl+Shift+→Snap bottom-right quarter
Ctrl+Shift+↑Snap top-left quarter
Ctrl+Shift+↓Snap top-right quarter
Alt+GTile grid
Alt+HTile horizontal
Alt+VTile vertical
Alt+CTile cascade
MANAGEMENT
#dogflattener3000
connecting...
π¬ CREDITS & SPONSORS
Thank you to our generous sponsors who help fund this whole Dog Flattening operation
π PLATINUM SPONSORS
George W Bush
$500,000/mo
π₯ GOLD SPONSORS
ANZ Bank
$150,000/mo
Kentucky Fried Chicken
$75,000/mo
π₯ SILVER SPONSORS
Sprite
$30,000/mo
Amazon
$15,000/mo
π¨ FLATMATE DISPOSABLE
NO BOOST
NO VAPE DETECTED
Buy a FLATMATE disposable nicotine vape for boosted flattening performance!
AFFILIATE PROGRAM
Share your code and earn 0.05% of all money your referrals generate!
YOUR CODE
---
REFERRALS: 0 | EARNED: $0
ENTER AFFILIATE CODE
Share link: ---
GIFT SHOP & MAILBOX
Send money, BRO, dogs, and items to other players! 2% sending fee on money and BRO.
RECIPIENT NAME
GIFT TYPE
AMOUNT
MESSAGE (OPTIONAL)
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🏦 FLAT DOG BANK
π¦ Basic
SAVINGS BALANCE
$0
0.05% per cycle
+$0 pending
Wallet
$0
Max Deposit
$1,000,000
Insurance
0%
Interest Earned
$0
UPGRADE ACCOUNT
π REAL ESTATE EMPIRE
Wallet: $0
Income
$0/min
Portfolio
$0
Properties
0
YOUR PROPERTIES
PROPERTY MARKET
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